Dark chocolate brownies
For this recipe you'll need:
1 box of dark chocolate brownie mix. The brand doesn't matter, just as long as it says special dark, or something like that.
1/2 cup of butter. The recipe on the box will say you need oil. Ignore the box. The box is a loser.
1 dash of whipping cream. I define a dash as approximately however much you want. You can't go wrong with whipping cream.
1 dash of raw chocolate powder. The unsugared kind. Just cocao powder.
2/3 a cup of warm water. I repeat, warm, and not lukewarm, either. Warm enough to melt butter.
1 egg. You can add two if you like your brownies cakey. I don't.
Also a pan and two glass bowls.
Pour the brownie mix into the advised big glass bowl. Add cocoa powder to that. It doesn't have to be a lot, in fact, I advise about a teaspoon for lightweight chocohalics.
Put the water into a separate bowl. Cut the butter into the water. Cutting butter basically just means cutting butter. Your trying to mash it into little chunks. Once the butter is tiny, mix it around a bunch until it melts into the water. I told you to make it warm.
Once the butter has dissolved, you should have an oily, delicious looking puddle. Add the whipping cream to that. Don't add more then two tablespoons, or when you add it to the dry stuff, your batter will be soupy. It may be a bit soupy anyways, but if you don't add too much, that'll just make it moist.
When your finished with the cream, add the egg to the wet mixture. The first time I made this recipe, I added it to the dry stuff, but that's kind of gross. Beat the egg in. Beating doesn't mean whacking or anything, it just means stirring the egg with the fork, although you do kind of want to stab it. Just break it up and mix it in.
By this time, your wet mixture should look like the blob had a child with a water sprite. So pour it into the dry mixture. Grab a rubber spatula and mash them together until it's one mixture, which you can shape with your fingers a bit. Rub your hands with grease and play with the dough for however long you feel like, then rub the pan with grease. By this time you should have preheated the oven, but we both know you didn't. Shame on you! Just preheat it to whatever temperature the box advises (maybe the box isn't a loser...) and play with your brownie dough while your waiting. When it makes that little beepy noise to tell you it's ready, pour the batter into the greasy pan and smooth it out so it's even. Once again, the box is right about how long to put it in for, so dig the box you've already thrown away out of the trash, and set the oven timer. Slide the pan into the oven, and Vwalah! You've made brownies. When the timer goes off, invite your friends and family to gain weight on it.
1 box of dark chocolate brownie mix. The brand doesn't matter, just as long as it says special dark, or something like that.
1/2 cup of butter. The recipe on the box will say you need oil. Ignore the box. The box is a loser.
1 dash of whipping cream. I define a dash as approximately however much you want. You can't go wrong with whipping cream.
1 dash of raw chocolate powder. The unsugared kind. Just cocao powder.
2/3 a cup of warm water. I repeat, warm, and not lukewarm, either. Warm enough to melt butter.
1 egg. You can add two if you like your brownies cakey. I don't.
Also a pan and two glass bowls.
Pour the brownie mix into the advised big glass bowl. Add cocoa powder to that. It doesn't have to be a lot, in fact, I advise about a teaspoon for lightweight chocohalics.
Put the water into a separate bowl. Cut the butter into the water. Cutting butter basically just means cutting butter. Your trying to mash it into little chunks. Once the butter is tiny, mix it around a bunch until it melts into the water. I told you to make it warm.
Once the butter has dissolved, you should have an oily, delicious looking puddle. Add the whipping cream to that. Don't add more then two tablespoons, or when you add it to the dry stuff, your batter will be soupy. It may be a bit soupy anyways, but if you don't add too much, that'll just make it moist.
When your finished with the cream, add the egg to the wet mixture. The first time I made this recipe, I added it to the dry stuff, but that's kind of gross. Beat the egg in. Beating doesn't mean whacking or anything, it just means stirring the egg with the fork, although you do kind of want to stab it. Just break it up and mix it in.
By this time, your wet mixture should look like the blob had a child with a water sprite. So pour it into the dry mixture. Grab a rubber spatula and mash them together until it's one mixture, which you can shape with your fingers a bit. Rub your hands with grease and play with the dough for however long you feel like, then rub the pan with grease. By this time you should have preheated the oven, but we both know you didn't. Shame on you! Just preheat it to whatever temperature the box advises (maybe the box isn't a loser...) and play with your brownie dough while your waiting. When it makes that little beepy noise to tell you it's ready, pour the batter into the greasy pan and smooth it out so it's even. Once again, the box is right about how long to put it in for, so dig the box you've already thrown away out of the trash, and set the oven timer. Slide the pan into the oven, and Vwalah! You've made brownies. When the timer goes off, invite your friends and family to gain weight on it.
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